What Do I Do, Now???

Holy moly!  I'm free!  I'm free! Can you believe it???  I'm free!!!  Or am I?  Now that I'm free, what do I do, now???

"What is this chick talking about?"

Ladies and gentlemen, I am free.  To do what?  I'm not sure.

"What is she free, from?"

I'm not exactly sure how to articulate it, because I'm not so sure that I AM free.  And even if I am, not sure if it's something I should be happy about.

As I sit here, in my messy house, waiting for my kids' school bus to arrive I realize I have so much to do... and more time to do it now that ALL of my kiddos are in school.

"Ahhhhh... I see where she's going with this."

Do you?  Because, I don't know if I do!  :D

I started Mommy-hood back in 2001 when we took guardianship of my husband's cousin/Godson.  He was almost 12.

Got married in 2002.

Got preggers and had baby #1 in 2004.

Had baby #2 in 2006.

Had baby #3 in 2008.

Had baby #4 in 2009.

And now baby #4 is in Kindergarten... it all flew by so fast!

"Yep... I saw where she was going with this."

And now, I have a little bit more of uninterrupted time... or do I?

"Of course you do!  There's no one there but you!  You can tackle everything you've been wanting to, for years!"

Yeah, I can... and I think that's my issue.  there is so much I've been wanting to do, that I don't know where to begin!

Sure, the house needs a REAL GOOD CLEAN UP!
Sure, you can be Susie Homemaker of the year with preparing meals in advance!
Sure, you can volunteer like crazy now!
Sure, you can go to the gym!
Sure, you can get geared back up and blow your Pure Romance business out of the water.
Sure, you can hang out with your girlfriends!
Sure, you can get the laundry done and organized!
Sure, you can purge all the crap out of the house!
Sure, you can...

The list is endless.

But, what if I don't really want to do any of that right now?

I just want to... sleep.
I just want to sit here and do nothing.
I just want be still.
I just want to hear the clock tick.
I just want to get into my head, and listen to my voice... or listen to nothing.

"Well, hello there Hazel... long time no see!"

Just be.

Soooo much to do!

Just be.

Soooo much to catch up on!

Just be.

Soooo much to accomplish!

Just be.

Just be me, for a little bit.  Take off the hat, and just be.

I have plenty of hats to put on... just take them off for a bit.

Just be.

Breathe.

You'll always have something to do.

Just be... you haven't "been" in a looooong time.

Ok, self.  I've got 10 minutes to be.

Tomorrow, we can do.
Tomorrow, we can catch up.
Tomorrow, we can accomplish

9 minutes to be.

~ Chel